Three fools
by El Ruken
Summary: The adventures of three real life Idiots in their favorite animes.


The Misadventures of the Three Fools: The world of Anime. Chapter one: The world of Zoids or The Giant Robotic moron fight  
  
The day started as any other at the home of Darkside. Darkside sat dazed in front of the TV in the basement with "Maester", and "Shinji 3:16". No one knew what the 3:16 stood for. Shinji said it had an air of mystery about it. Maester thought it was just to pick up chicks. They spent the last 15 minutes arguing over thew last beer "That's not fair!" Shouted Maester; "You got the last two coronas." "Oh that's bullshit." Shinji shouted back, "Anyway you pass out after cough syrup." "Baka!" Yelled Maester as he belted Shinji across the head. "Ha," Laughed Darkside, "You got hit good." "Why I oughta. " Threaten Shinji but stopped as he saw Maester take the last corona to his lips. "Oh yes, the sweet taste of Mexican liquor, at least they do something right," Laughed Maester as he looked at Shinji. Shinji glared at Maester with contempt. "Damn you...and damn your kids," He yelled as he chased forward to Maester. Maesters eyes open wide as he saw the blurred image of Shinji pounce on him. "Give me that drink you" Yelled Maester. "No this is too good for you" Laughed Shinji. "Man this anime is hot, look at that samurai chick," Laughed Darkside. As Maester and Shinji fought the Corona bottle fell from their hand and onto the floor. "Damn you see what you did you got it all dirty," Yelled Shinji. Shinji jumped to the floor and wipe the soot off the bottle vig. Suddenly the bottle began to shake violently. "See look at what you done, you ass" Yelled Maester. The bottle stood right side up and green smoke gently whiffed from the bottle. Suddenly a genie popped out of the bottle coughing. "Damn what's with all the smoke?" asked Shinji. "Uh a genie just popped out of the bottle," said Darkside with a blank look "Well thank you Capt. obvious for that grand intro" Retored the Genie. "Damn it's a sarcastic genie at that" Scoffed Maester. "Thank you for freeing me from my cheaply made prison I can know grant you one wish" Answered the genie in a all not to please voice. "Hey aren't you suppose to give use three wishes what's with this one BS" Yelled Shinji "Cause I'm as cheap as that liquor you drink" Answered the genie "Hey Corona isn't cheap, you dickweed" snarled Maester "Okay, alright how bout two wishes an then I can go" sighed the irrated genie. "Alright, two ain't all that bad" answered Shinji and Maester in unison while Darkside laughed at the anime movie he watched. "First wish, humph what do we want" asked Maester as he looked around. "Maybe cash, cash is always good" Panted Shinji wildly. "Quite you this is my wish yours is next," yelled Maester. "Hey why is this your wish" Asked Shinji "Because it just is so there" Said Maester sticking his tongue out. "Fine you bastard take your wish" Pouted Shinji as he walked off brushing his long black hair out of his face. "Well you incompetent loser what do you want" Asked the equally annoyed genie. "Hey let me think ! said Maester as He scratched his hair. Okay I got it he yelled his brown eyes full of evil gleam. Dude I hate it when he gets that look sighed Dark side I wanna rule over the world of anime" Wink Maester Shinji looked up in disbelief "you wanna rule the anime world." "Uh yeah" Answered Maester "we could so rule everything, with my extensive knowledge of anime your creativeness and Darkside um.well we could rule the anime world" "Okay anything else you slacked jaw idiots" asked the genie Shinji looked up and smiled "Yea my turn, I want a." But before he could finish Darkside looked up and said "Man I could use a sandwich, hey you genie make me a sandwich" "Oh great not that gag" Sighed Maester But Shinji had other thoughts. "You bastard you stole my wish" yelled Shinji with a clench fist "Darkside didn't notice has he munched happily on his BLT his one and only BLT Suddenly a blackhole sucking them all in. "Whee" yelled Darkside between bits of his Sandwich as he was pulled into the vortex "This sucks" Screamed Maester and Shinji Darkside didn't mind as he munch happily on his one and only BLT ever. The dark void swam around them as they drifted silently through the vortex. "Okay where are we, Better yet where are we going" Asked Maester with a perplexed look. Shinji screamed outload "Your wish you figure it out" Suddenly Darkside let out a horrible howl "I want another BLT" Shinji looked to Darkside and screamed "Damn you bastard you stole my wish I haven't forgotten" As Shinji and Darkside fought Maester thought "Well where do I wanna go First" Maester Looked over to Shinji and said. "Hey what's the name of that show with the giant robots" "Uh Big-O" Shinji asked "No the other one" Maester yelled back "Uh Voltron" Asked Shinji "No think newer," yelled Maester "Oh Eva" Answered Shinji "No you idiot the one with the animals, you Baka!!!"Yelled Maester "Oh Power Rangers" answered Shinji "What you still watch that you idiot" asked Maester "Only when they show Kimberly" Sighed Shinji A teardrop formed of Maesters head. Darkside Looked up and scratched his head "I think he meant Zoids" "Well Einstein how many synapses did you burn that time" Asked Shinji Oblivious to the insult Darkside yelled back "Four" "Anyway Were going to the Zoids world" Answered Maester "Yea I like Zoids, can I be the pink ranger" asked Darkside "Nani. You may not be my beloved, you BAKA!!" Yelled Shinji as he hit Darkside with a giant megaton hammer. "If you two kids can stop, let's go to Zoids" and with that a door open up as they all made their way forward. "Hey where that door come from" asked Shinji Maester looked around and grinned "Well its an anime ain't it" The other two shrugged there shoulders and made it to the door. They open the door and jumped inside. What seemed like forever only took a couple of minutes as the were literally spit out into a green pasture. The landed sharply hurting various parts of themselves. "Wow were here in Zoids this is so cool" Exclaimed Shinji "My head hurts" yelled out Darkside "Then don't think so much" snickered Shinji "Okay Shinji-chan" Laughed Darkside "Shinji and Darkside looked around and examined their new surroundings. "Hey where the hell is Maester at" asked Shinji From across the field the saw a small recognizable figure. "Hey guys your gonna love this" he exclaimed They looked at him in wide-eyed amazement hey was wearing a white monk type GI with gold linning. (Kinda looks like Marron from Bakurestu Hunters) "What's with the clothes" asked Shinji "Well all our clothes changed," he said pointing to Shinji and Darkside. They both looked at each other and saw they were indeed wearing new clothes. Shinji was wearing a black trench coat with a Dragon symbol on the back with black slacks and shoes to match. Darkside was wearing a leather jacket with the dragon symbol on the back with a pair of blue jeans. "Hey why is Shinji's outfit cooler than mine" Moaned Darkside. "I'm just cooler than you," Shinji laughed. "Anyway" said Maester as he rolled his eyes "The cooler stuff is over here" As they ran over the hill they began to see what Maester was talking about the whole time. They know saw a group of Zoids for there own personal use. "Where these come from" asked Shinji "Well you know how I said our clothes change well not only that we also get powers or weapons depending on the anime we are in" Maester said quickly. Shinji and Darkside blinked there eyes as the stared at Maester in wonderment. "Uh dude where you get that all from" asked Darkside "Oh it just came to me" giggled Maester "Well anyway I got all your Zoids right here," said Maester. "For you Shinji the ever exclusives Liger Zero ver 2.0. Its has its basic weapon system with some added bonuses, courtesy of yours truly like a pulse cannon on its tail, Jump jets that lets you break the sound barrier and cloaking device" Shinji looked up at the all black Liger and smiled. Its jaws were lined with glinting razor sharp teeth. Its body was sleek and agile looking, it was further enhanced by the extending blades and boosters along its body. It was truly a sight to behold. I am a genius Bwhahahaha Laughed Maester Is it just me or is Maester enjoying this a little to much whispered Shinji to Darkside "For you Darkside a Berserker Fury 2x, same thing except a tail mounted particle beam cannon and a kinetic shield, but no cloak. Darkside looked like he was on the verge of tears as he mounted his Zoid. "Hey Maester what's your zoid" ask Shinji from within his zoid "Oh I was waiting for you to ask" Maester said "Come forth Red Dragon Furher" suddenly a load roar was heard and a giant red Chinese dragon flew over the horizon. Then both shiji and Darkside looked at one another in disbelief "HOLY SHIT! Is that a Zoid," Shinji exclaimed. "Nope, just our command carrier," Maester called out matter-of- factly. The command carrier landed close to the three, opening its hanger bay doors, revealing a three-headed wolf Zoid. Its body was a crimson red with black lining. Each head was black and seemed to have a blazing red mane. "The Cerebus! Each head serves its own purpose. One controls a lvl. 7 shield. The next controls an EMP and pulse generator cannons. The next controls all other weapons including Thermo cannons, a speed pulse capable of breaking Mach 6, a Static cannon, and final a jump jet all in all, my Cerebus Mach Wolf is the most powerful Zoid there is," Exclaimed Maester with a maniacally laugh. "Man this guy loves to go overboard" sighed Shinji. "Yeah tell me about it all he needs is two robots and we have or very own Washuu" exclaimed Darkside "Well are you ladies gonna gape or are we gonna take the world of Zoids by storm" Yelled Maester "Time for the Dragon Fury team to make its apperance" The teamed loaded there zoids onto the carrier as the flew over horizon. The three gentelmen meet in the command room as they discussed they're next plan of action. "I wanna attack the Tiger Team their a bunch of losers anyway", shouted Maester. "I think it should be the Blitz team Said Shinji they are the heroes of this world anyway." "Well we should attack Team champ", Said Darkside. "That Harry guy is a complete loser." "Just like you, right!" Laughed Shinji. As they all argued luck would have it that there were entering there first Zoid Fight.  
  
It was another laid back day for the infamous Blitz team. Jamie feverishly polished away at his Terrace Zoid, while Bit and Liger Zero chased they're carrier ship from behind. Brad lay lazily on the couch. "Hey Jamie you should come out here with me", came Bits voice over the P.A. system. "Sorry Bit but I have a bunch of things to do why don't you play with Leena?" joked Jamie. "Because she being a pill as usual", Moaned Bit. "What was that Bit Cloud Came a booming voice. On his monitor Bit saw the usual angry face of Leena. She looked even more angry than usual. Oh uh hey Leena we was just talking about you. Laughed Bit neversouly. Oh Really well my zoid wants to talk to you she yelled as the cargo bay door open and Leenas Gun Sniper stomped out. Liger Zero screeched to an halt as it changed Directions and Hightailed it away from the Cannon fire of Leena. Leena you trigger happy psycho cut it out. Leena chased Bit until the came to a chasm. Now Bit say your prayers. Leena said as she targeted Bits Liger zero. But Before she could fire a single round, a pulse of energy hit her throwing her back about two feet. Hey Bit that hurt you meany Whined Leena. It wasn't me yelled Bit Suddenly from the chasm a huge dragon rose. Well , Well Team Blitz what a pleasure finding you here know you save me the trouble of hunting you down. Laughed Maester. Wow Maester you play evil real well said Shinji and Darkside as they clapped "Who the hell are you guys". asked Bit. We are the new champions of this world, say hello to the incomparable Dragoon Team. Yelled Maester inside. Explain again why were the Dragoon Team and not team Shinji. Asked Shinji Because Dragoon is more frightful than "Shinji" Laughed Maester What kinda Zoid is that asked Leena with a perplexed look. This, my dear stupid girl is my Red Dragon Furer Command Carrier. Now you may meet my friends. Suddenly the cargo bay doors open and Shinji's Liger Zero Ver 2.0 leaped out while Darkside and Berserker Fury 2X tumbled out. Okay let this sanction Zoid battle begin. Came Maester voice followed by his evil laughter. A moment later a metal cylinder landed in the immediate area. From the crater arose a judge capsule. "Battle field scanned, now battling the Blitz Team vs. the Dragoon Team...Fight." "So what are we playing for, asked Bit as he readied his Liger against Shinji's. Only the lives of your Zoids laughed Shinji. All the Zoids stood poised and ready for battle. A fierce growl escaped Shinji's Liger and a gunshot prompted the start of the battle as the Zoids rushed forward to they're respective enemy. Bit's Liger chased forward towards Shinji with its cannons firing. The Liger2 ran forward while dodging each shot. Come on Bit you'll have to do better that that laughed Shinji Hey Shinji I just anlalized Bits Liger hit its left leg hind leg for optitum damage use your pulse cannon. Came Maesters voice over the intercom. Uh okay Maester Shinji said now which button is that asked Shinji. The one marked Pulse Cannon you idiot snarled Maester. Damn you don't have to be so uptight sighed Shinji as he pressed the button. Shinji Liger screeched to a halt as it open its moth to gather energy. What the hell are you doing Yelled Bit as he halted his Liger. Shinji started to laugh as he looked at Bit. Nothing just giving a taste of my Raging Thunder Laughed Shinji. Suddenly a burst of energy leaped forth from Shinji's zoid mouth and screamed forward to Bit. This is gonna hurt moaned Bit as his Liger was thrown back by the pulse energy. Ha! Your Liger is out of commition laughed Maester. As Maester laughed Dr Toros drove up in his carrier. Bit? Leena? Whats happening here? Asked Dr. Toros Well my dear Doctor we are having a zoids battle for zoid parts, Oh and you are losing horrible? Laughed Maester. Darkside chased down Leena as he shot wildly towards her Gun Sniper. Hey Darkside you couldn't hit the broadside of a barn. Laughed Leena. Hey maybe I wasn't aiming for you. Darkside said with an evil grin. Suddenly the rock Formation behind her began to give way. It rocked a little back and forth then fell towards Leena's zoid. Damn you Darkside she screamed as the lights faded from her Zoids eyes. Wow! Exclaimed Dr. Toros "They are really good, and such Wonderful Zoids. I want One of each oh please Jamie say we have enough to buy these zoids. Dr Toros asked as hey hopped up and down. Even if we did. Jamie started these Zoids aren't even in this months zoid cataloge. That's right Doc this zoids aren't in this months cataloge for I the great Dr. Maester made these myself., I am a genius after all Bwahahahaha. Laughed Maester Oh so now you're a doctor? Scoffed Shinji Anyway I wish to challenge the last two members of the Blitz team by myself a two on one the loser shall forfit all there zoids and carriers to the winner. If your man enough Dr. Toros. Maester said eyes full of fire. Suddenly Darkside through a bucket of water on Maesters head. What the hell was the point of that. Yelled Maester Oh your eyes were on fire and you know what Smokey the bear says. Only you can protect against stupidty. Laughed Shinji No its forest fires. Darkside Retorted I'm sorry my good doctor ignore my simpleminded friends, so Dr. Toros what is your answer. Asked Maester Brad and Jamie accept your offer., and your condition for the victory. So let us begin shall we. Said Maester as he snatched of his oufit and reveled his Eva plug suit underneath. Hey no fair using another anime weapons. Shouted Shinji. Whatever! Retorted Maester as he jumped into the Cerebus. Brad and Jamie's Zoids were already full loaded and ready for the battle. Maester's Cerbrus let out a fericious roar as it landed on the ground in front of them. "Well let us get this over! Laughed Maester. The Shadow fox open attacked first with its machine gun as it ran forward. Jamie's Pters flew in the air and released a payload of missles on the enemy zoid. "Direct hit!" They said almost in unison. But soon fear filled their eyes as the dust settled. "Ha! Did you really think that would defeat me boys" Snorted Maester behind his force field. "Now its my turn!" He yelled "I Think Maester being a little over dramatic" Snorted Shinji "Oh pretty lights!" said Darkside in awe Shinji quickly looked over and saw Cerburus realease the beam cannon from its far right head and knock out Brads zoid. 


End file.
